Out of the Blue…

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I tried to post this yesterday  but couldn’t get it to publish. I hope you have enjoyed listening to General Conference as much as I have. Two hour church, President Nelson recommending flip phones for teenagers and to read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year, and President Oaks’ plea to be kind and generous, were among my highlights so far.

Monday I went walking with an old friend. Our oldest daughters had gone to first grade together, and somehow we have managed to keep connected through the years. It was a warm, beautiful fall day. Perfect for walking and talking. She was upset about a marriage that had recently fallen apart in her ward. She said, “They just renovated a house together! They seemed happy! How could something fall apart so quickly?”

I happened upon this article on Meridian Magazine, a Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints online magazine—not an official Church publication—but one that writes for LatterDay Saints. It is a good reminder about how to safeguard our marriages.

Mark D. Clayton is  a marriage therapist , former bishop and high councilor. He wrote:

“Many years ago, Carlfred Broderick, a church leader and prominent marital and family relations professor and therapist, coined the phrase “out of the blue like a scheduled airline”.

What an insight the above phrase is! It  shows  that when boundaries are crossed the predictable will happen, and a marriage can dissolve. Brother Clayton goes on to say:

“How do we keep our marital boundaries intact?

  1. Do not let prayer and scripture reading lapse.
  2. Do not stop communicating and resolving conflict.
  3. Do not try and “help” someone of the opposite gender (with personal or marital problems outside the boundary of a formal role and relationship).
  4. Do not share personal nor marital concerns with friends of the opposite gender.
  5. Do not be alone with the opposite gender.(in a casual setting outside a protective formal role)
  6. Keep sexual boundaries rigidly within the bounds of the commandments, both letter and spirit.
  7. Do not entertain fantasies.
  8. Do not view pornography.
  9. Do not sext.
  10. Do not social media stalk.’

Bother Clayton gives many examples in this article of how things slide and then after each example, he says, “Boundary crossed.” That’s it.

Elder Neal A. Maxwell said, “Those who live “after the manner of happiness” (2 Ne. 5:27) also wisely develop protective, spiritual manners. These manners are reflected in their proper dress, language, humor, and music, thereby sending the signal of determined discipleship (see Prov. 23:7).”

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2001/10/the-seventh-commandment-a-shield?lang=eng

I am looking forward to General Conference! In my institute class this week, Brother Bartholemew said there have been so many rumors of changes for this General Conference. He said, ” This is not a bingo card where we are guessing what the prophet will say. It’s not a bunch of men in a boardroom. These men and women are speaking for the Savior. They are His messengers. Please tell your children that President Nelson is speaking for the Savior.”

Well said. Have a wonderful weekend!

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