In a recent post I wrote about criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling that kills relationships. In contrast the following four principles invite trust and two way communication: Keeping Our Commitments: Steven R. Covey says that when you want to build your own character, the very first thing you do is to make a commitment and … Continue reading Four Ways to Nurture A Relationship
Author: Susan Christensen
Daily Relationship Building Activity
I recently heard Dr. Lynn Scoresby speak on marriage. He taught for an hour about changing ourselves to help our marriages and other relationships. He talked about how communication is everything, and how to say empathy statements. “If I am understanding correctly…” ... “I would feel X too in that situation” ... “You're right” ... “I'm sorry you've … Continue reading Daily Relationship Building Activity
Being Honest About Our Own Behavior
The following story was told by C. Terry Warner, a professor emeritus of psychology at Brigham Young University. This is one of my favorite talks given at a BYU devotional, ever. It is called Honest, Simple, Solid, True. In his speech he talks about a larger shift, a foundational transformation as this woman wrote to … Continue reading Being Honest About Our Own Behavior
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Dr. John Gottman and his wife, Dr. Julie Gottman, have formed the Gottman Institute. They are famous for predicting the probability that a marriage will last or not with a 90 % success rate by spending an hour with the couple whose marriage is floundering. How do they do this? The Gottman Institute uses a … Continue reading Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
Learning to Work On Our Weaknesses
Sometimes we aren’t even aware of what we are lacking in when it comes to our communication skills. I am an extrovert, and love being with people. However, I was a champion “stonewaller” at the beginning of our marriage, meaning I would just clam up and go silent when I got triggered or upset. I … Continue reading Learning to Work On Our Weaknesses
Learning Packets: Relationships Part 1
We know water is a big issue in the Western United States. The story of Hoover Dam situated outside of Las Vegas is a remarkable tale of vision and compromise between seven of these states sharing the water from the Colorado River. We have driven over this engineering marvel many times, when we lived in … Continue reading Learning Packets: Relationships Part 1
The Collapse of Parenting
This is a repost from Feb. 2020: This week we were getting on a chair lift to ski and the young skier in front of us brushed by the attendant who was checking everyone's ski passes with an electronic gun. The attendant yelled something at him like, "If you do that again---" and I didn't … Continue reading The Collapse of Parenting
Value Children
I have felt devastated all week about the senseless shooting deaths in Texas. It has made me think about how important children are in my life and what a treasure they are. I have written previous posts about building a rich, meaningful life. A meaningful life can be service that helps us not focus on … Continue reading Value Children
Long And Short Suffering
This is a repost from 2017. I have had this scripture below posted in my office for over a year. The two reasons it speaks to me is the actual idea of fruits of the Spirit and a powerful list of Christ's attributes I want to develop in myself. The other reason is my puzzlement … Continue reading Long And Short Suffering
The Gap and The Gain
In the day to day of life it is sometimes hard to find the why. Why do bad things happen to me? How can I endure pain and suffering? Why do I have to work so hard? Why do some people seem to glide though life? I posted here about Clayton Christensen's 3 questions to … Continue reading The Gap and The Gain
"Peace Like A River…" 